In a marriage wholly decided and
arranged by the parents of both the parties; bride and groom, perhaps our grand
parents met each other for the first time could be on the very day of their
engagement. The height, weight, complexion, educational qualification, job, monthly
income, interests, hobbies and nothing was asked about or enquired neither by
the groom nor by the bride. It was not a matter of concern at all. Despite of
all these, those marriages lasted long and it was fruitful. Unlike the new generation
youngsters, they did not have any facility or medium of communication to know
more about their life partner nor did have a space to interact with their
would-be life partner before engagement but the marriage lasted long. Among
them, perhaps the divorce was an unheard word.
The modern matrimony sector has
all sophisticated mechanism to have a thorough knowledge about one’s would-be
life partner. The matrimonial sites offer ample opportunities for the youngsters
to choose their life partner from a long list of highly qualified, educated,
fair, financially sound and all that.. Before the engagement they get a chance
to know personally their life partner by frequent meetings and phone calls, Facebook
chats and messages. However, the new generation marriage does not last long. The new generation has all the possible ways
to know about their would-be life partner and interact with him or her before
wedding in spite of all these the marriage fails, it fails miserably.
The divorce among the married
couples is on raise. A recent survey conducted says that 46 married couples
seek separation every day in Kerala. Formerly, foreigners looked at Indian
marriages with full of amusement that how could the Indian married couples live
together till their last breath of their life but what could be the fundamental
reasons for the downtrend.
Institution of marriage lost its sheen
and youngsters lost their faith in it. Unlike
the joint family system, in nuclear family the number of children is very less,
the couples have maximum 2 children so naturally they are over pampered and
brought up without being aware of the hardships in life. They lack basic
courtesy, ethics, morality and values that they should have inculcated for their
life.
Formerly, men was the sole bread
winner of the family but as the end result of women empowerment, girls started
getting higher education and now we are in a scenario where women are highly
educated than men. Women earn more than men do so they enjoy absolute economical
liberty and they are no longer dependent on their husband for the same. This
has created a feeling within women that they are capable of doing everything
and need not to be dependent on men and it created sufficient ego and arrogance
in them.
Getting divorce is no more a taboo
and it is on rise at an alarming rate. Youngsters lost the value, ethics and
morality and the same is resembled in the institution of marriage as well. They
can’t make any kind of compromise in life, if they do not like something they
suddenly react. Young couples are not ready to make any sacrifice for his or
her life partner and they should understand that marriage is not a bed of red
roses. They get into the institution of marriage without adequate preparation
and they take everything lightly. People of opposite gender, coming and living
together as single mind and body is
always difficult, as both of them are from different back grounds, aptitude,
taste and all that.
The pre-marital and extra marital
affairs have aggregated the situation. ‘I am board’ or ‘it is boring’ are the
comments that often youngsters would be making, they lose out their interest
very soon of things and person. Familiarity breeds contempt and for the
youngsters the newness of person is lost fast so they are looking out for new
person and affairs.
The success of marriage is not
all about finding the right partner but being the right partner.
I suppose your conclusion reasons the topic but I'm sure you would agree (with ref. to what you mentioned in the beginning)that not all of the older generation arranged marriages were a success, (although in many cases it may appear to be), many a situation turns out to be such that there was no where else to run, once married one( very often the female partner) is locked up in a situation till the end/death do them apart. The "promises" made in the religious institution (churches, temples etc) are mostly fumbled upon.
ReplyDeleteEven in the bible as far as during Moses' period divorce was made an option by merely writing off (which Christ corrects that it was done due to the people's hardness of the heart).
Although life ain't a bed of roses, the transformation from bachelorhood to being married does poses a lot of challenges and problems that the duo ain't aware of, probably due to the lack of inputs from the parents to their children making them well equipped to a rising situation;( Sad to note that time and again many are only interested in the academic titles and the money they make). I would end with this blog of my father intending to hint at many a such situations wherein he also mentions compatibility playing a role in marriage which is essentially spiritual or materialistic.
http://livelifeabundant.blogspot.in/
http://livelifeabundant.blogspot.com/
DeleteU were saying old generation were good, and new generation has a problem becoz of womens education and the economic freedom they have have. This is equall to saying "Stone men lived in caves and they were happy. The civilized men lives in concrete houses, and the comfort these houses gives is the problem". My dear, it is all about the attitude of the people.You shd be able to see ur wife equally as u!!
ReplyDelete