Over coddling causing decline of EQ in children?

Undoubtedly the children of this generation, known as Alpha is smarter than the previous generations called, Gen Z and millennials, in every respect, except for EQ. Perhaps, EQ which is Emotional Quotient, also known as Emotional Intelligence (EI) would be the greatest challenge that the parents of this modern era got to deal with and the most challenging to tackle in their children.

While IQ predominantly measures cognitive abilities such as logical reasoning, problem-solving, and analytical skills, EQ refers to aptitude for understanding and managing emotions, empathizing with others, and building effective interpersonal relationships.

Of late, we got to read the awful news such as girl studying in standard 4 committed suicide, a girl studying in standard 10 committed suicide because her peers mocked her when she fell down while learning to ride a two-wheeler, and a girl in 9th standard committed suicide because she was transferred to another class division. Many students committed suicide as they got less marks or failed in the exam. All these incidents are pointing to one single factor that is EQ.

EQ refers to the aptitude to comprehend, use, and manage one's own emotions in positive ways to dismiss stress, interconnect efficiently, commiserate with others, overcome challenges, and resolve conflict. Fundamentally, this is how well a person can identify, comprehend, and manage their own emotions, as well as the emotions of others.

Parents and educational institutions are rather concerned about the IQ level of the students in order to get them admitted to the school, competitive tests and interviews are conducted for the same, whereas no yardstick is widely used to understand their EQ, which is disheartening.

The nuclear family system reduced the number of children from the well accepted policy of Hum Do Hamare Do to Hum Ek Hamaara Ek. There is a proverb which goes ‘spare the rod and spoil the child.’ Even if there is only one child, he or she must be raised with discipline or care, not spoiled just because it's the only one.

Parents of this generation are trying to provide the things; convenience, comforts and opportunities that they missed in their childhood to their children. As the single child is over pampered, he/she gets all comfort, convenience, and luxury in his/her life, thus, the child is undergoing classical conditioning. The term classical conditioning refers to the process of an automatic, conditioned response that is paired with a specific stimulus.

Whereas the children should be raised through operant conditioning. Operant conditioning, on the other hand, involves learning through the consequences of behaviour, where actions followed by reinforcement are more likely to be repeated, and actions followed by punishment are less likely to be repeated.

Operant conditioning, which focuses on the consequences of behaviour; which are rewards and punishments generally considered more effective for teaching new behaviours and shaping habits in children.

The right of the teachers in giving corporal punishment which includes physical punishment, such as caning or flogging has been always up for discussion and challenged by the parents of the generation. In the 80s and 90s, these were effectively used by teachers in disciplining students in school levels and parents of those times were absolutely okay with it. However, new generation parents have got issue with it and have challenged the same in the Court.

In July 2025, The Kerala High Court has ruled that corporal punishment by teachers, such as caning students for discipline, is not a crime under the BNS and Juvenile Justice Act, (Care and Protection of Children) Act 2015; unless it involves vital body parts or malicious intent.

While parents are over conscious about the IQ of their children, they neglect to address EQ which is also equally important to live in this chaotic world. In order for a child to grow in this society facing day to day challenges of life, EQ is of paramount importance.

Meddling with machines, video games, smart toys, and computer games won't generate EQ in children, for that the children should deal with their peers – humans, surroundings, nature and realities of life from the young age itself.

It is high time the academic system and pedagogy should introduce methods to develop EQ in children supported by the new gen parents, which would enable them to tackle the issues thrown at them by the bitter realities of life. 

 

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