Monday, April 29, 2013

The short-lived new generation marriages

In a marriage wholly decided and arranged by the parents of both the parties; bride and groom, perhaps our grand parents met each other for the first time could be on the very day of their engagement. The height, weight, complexion, educational qualification, job, monthly income, interests, hobbies and nothing was asked about or enquired neither by the groom nor by the bride. It was not a matter of concern at all. Despite of all these, those marriages lasted long and it was fruitful. Unlike the new generation youngsters, they did not have any facility or medium of communication to know more about their life partner nor did have a space to interact with their would-be life partner before engagement but the marriage lasted long. Among them, perhaps the divorce was an unheard word.

The modern matrimony sector has all sophisticated mechanism to have a thorough knowledge about one’s would-be life partner. The matrimonial sites offer ample opportunities for the youngsters to choose their life partner from a long list of highly qualified, educated, fair, financially sound and all that.. Before the engagement they get a chance to know personally their life partner by frequent meetings and phone calls, Facebook chats and messages. However, the new generation marriage does not last long.  The new generation has all the possible ways to know about their would-be life partner and interact with him or her before wedding in spite of all these the marriage fails, it fails miserably.   

The divorce among the married couples is on raise. A recent survey conducted says that 46 married couples seek separation every day in Kerala. Formerly, foreigners looked at Indian marriages with full of amusement that how could the Indian married couples live together till their last breath of their life but what could be the fundamental reasons for the downtrend.   

Institution of marriage lost its sheen and youngsters lost their faith in it.  Unlike the joint family system, in nuclear family the number of children is very less, the couples have maximum 2 children so naturally they are over pampered and brought up without being aware of the hardships in life. They lack basic courtesy, ethics, morality and values that they should have inculcated for their life.   

Formerly, men was the sole bread winner of the family but as the end result of women empowerment, girls started getting higher education and now we are in a scenario where women are highly educated than men. Women earn more than men do so they enjoy absolute economical liberty and they are no longer dependent on their husband for the same. This has created a feeling within women that they are capable of doing everything and need not to be dependent on men and it created sufficient ego and arrogance in them.  

Getting divorce is no more a taboo and it is on rise at an alarming rate. Youngsters lost the value, ethics and morality and the same is resembled in the institution of marriage as well. They can’t make any kind of compromise in life, if they do not like something they suddenly react. Young couples are not ready to make any sacrifice for his or her life partner and they should understand that marriage is not a bed of red roses. They get into the institution of marriage without adequate preparation and they take everything lightly. People of opposite gender, coming and living together as  single mind and body is always difficult, as both of them are from different back grounds, aptitude, taste and all that.    

The pre-marital and extra marital affairs have aggregated the situation. ‘I am board’ or ‘it is boring’ are the comments that often youngsters would be making, they lose out their interest very soon of things and person. Familiarity breeds contempt and for the youngsters the newness of person is lost fast so they are looking out for new person and affairs.     

The success of marriage is not all about finding the right partner but being the right partner.


  1. I suppose your conclusion reasons the topic but I'm sure you would agree (with ref. to what you mentioned in the beginning)that not all of the older generation arranged marriages were a success, (although in many cases it may appear to be), many a situation turns out to be such that there was no where else to run, once married one( very often the female partner) is locked up in a situation till the end/death do them apart. The "promises" made in the religious institution (churches, temples etc) are mostly fumbled upon.
    Even in the bible as far as during Moses' period divorce was made an option by merely writing off (which Christ corrects that it was done due to the people's hardness of the heart).
    Although life ain't a bed of roses, the transformation from bachelorhood to being married does poses a lot of challenges and problems that the duo ain't aware of, probably due to the lack of inputs from the parents to their children making them well equipped to a rising situation;( Sad to note that time and again many are only interested in the academic titles and the money they make). I would end with this blog of my father intending to hint at many a such situations wherein he also mentions compatibility playing a role in marriage which is essentially spiritual or materialistic.

  2. U were saying old generation were good, and new generation has a problem becoz of womens education and the economic freedom they have have. This is equall to saying "Stone men lived in caves and they were happy. The civilized men lives in concrete houses, and the comfort these houses gives is the problem". My dear, it is all about the attitude of the people.You shd be able to see ur wife equally as u!!